Before I was published

Before I was published, I used to be able to sit down and write for hours. Just write and write and write.  Oh sure, most of it was probably, if you'll excuse the word, crap.  I had an amazing critique group and they would take my work and show me how I could fix it. I learned so much and I would just type for hours. Broke a good lap-top typing so hard. The keyboard fell apart beneath my fingers. 

Now, I spend more time doing other 'writing' things than actually writing.  Promotion, which I know readers hear a lot about from authors, takes a lot of time. I don't mind it that much but every blog post I write is time spent not writing something new.  

My kids are older, which takes up more time, not less, since they need me in different ways and for different things.  

But my ability to go for hours at the keyboard has lessoned. I'm acutely aware of every word I write. If I don't like a sentence I don't keep going. I stop until its right. I can spend all day on one page.  I wondered today where the Rebecca I was on the keyboard had disappeared to.  I'm a better writer now, just not quite the producer I once was. 

That's okay. I'm going to stop here now and get back to doing it. I finished a chapter on my super secret project today.  Chapter two is calling my name. 

A Million Years

My middle son, out of the blue, asked me tonight if I could live to be a million years old so he and I (and then he quickly added Daddy too) could always be together.  I hugged him and told him a lie, which is that I will always be with him as long as he needs me.  It is the same story my own mother told me as a child and for which I got comfort during times when I worried about such things. And I worried a lot.  I had this idea that even though I knew and understood that no one could really know the time of their death, that she somehow did have some sort of foretold knowledge that she would be with me as long as I needed her and therefore would never leave, never die.  This had to hold true for my father as well because (and yes this is how my mind worked as a child and still does sometimes...) the fact that daddy lived in the house with us meant that a nuclear bomb could never go off in NYC when I was sleeping. He just seemed that tough. (We lived very close to NYC...)

My father's amazing ability to stop nuclear bombs and my mother's future telling abilities aside, I had to look away from my son tonight when he'd moved on from his questions because my eyes were filled with tears. I remembered what that felt like.  This tremendous wish that my parents should never leave me, should never die and leave me alone until I demanded of them a promise that I, now as an adult, know they could not truly make.  And yet they did and it helped me.  Sometimes, I still want to ask my mother never to die but as a grown-up mother of 3 I leave the question buried deep inside where it can haunt only me.

Because I know, having lost my father-in-law a little over a year ago, that we are all very very mortal.  And I wish I could make that promise to my middle guy--who is so tough on the outside and so soft in his core and the only one of my three children to ever ask me such a thing--that I will never leave him.  Because I want that, too. A million years. And always together.

Right now, I'm working on 3 different projects. One is super secret and I can't discuss it yet. But the other is a Warrior novel and I have to say I'm very pleased with it.  The third? I'm actually trying my hand at screen writing. Don't get too excited, I've only written 3 pages. I may throw the whole thing out.

I hope all is well with you and I promise to blog more now that I'm settled.

New Cover--New Series

More information soon...

Things I Regret

I've been thinking a lot lately about life. I think it comes with the amount of change I've been through, and still going through, regarding the move we've make.

But, its made me sort of pensive and, yes, I'll admit it, somewhat unavailable to my friends and family who want to speak to me or reach out to me.  I love all of them and their phone calls and e-mails force me to get my head out from under the covers and continue to stay connected to the world.

I digress.

I wanted to write about the things that I regret so I think I'll go ahead and do that. I know there are people who never regret anything they've done in their lives. They think every step led to another step and got them to where they are.  I don't live that way. I have deep regrets that carry with me like a backpack I will forever bring with me through the halls of my life.

1. I regret friendships that have either faded away or ended in an explosive fire.  I recently heard that a woman I had once been close with moved to Hong Kong with her family. We had not been speaking for a little over a year.  She'd done some things I could not support and ultimately driven me away from our friendship. When it had ended, I missed her acutely. We'd had lunch every week.  There were a lot of things that I admired about her.  I still feel the loss of her in my life.  I'll never forget that she had us over for dinner the night after we got back from my father-in-law's funeral.  I know that when things went askew they really went and there was no correcting it.  But, I regret that loss. I regret that there was nothing I could do to save it.

2. I regret that I didn't appreciate school more when I was in it.  Even graduate school. It always felt like it was just something I wanted to get through to get to the next spot. I think I didn't understand what a luxury it truly was to be able to learn with nothing else for me to do.

3. I regret all the times I haven't been the best mother I could be.  'Nuff said.

4.  I regret all the times I haven't been the best wife, daughter, sister, friend.

5. I regret missed opportunities and chances not taken.

What about all of you? Do you have regrets?

Books As Old Friends.

When I need distraction I tend to return to books that I know I've lost myself in before, rather than trying to find myself lost in a new story.  Too often, I start and stop ten new books before I find that place where I can be in another world for a while.

That would be, most likely, why I have reread all of Nalini Singh's Psy/Changeling books five times.  This last week, I returned to earlier books by Lora Leigh.  Specifically, Tanner's Scheme and Bengal's Heart.  I think I most enjoy her books where the heroine, or hero, gets into some kind of trouble towards the end and it brings the other mate into the realization that they'd really better shape up emotionally because life is short and they could lose their other half.

Maybe I'm just a sap that way.

My mother used to call certain books, for her the tales of Jane Austen, old friends.  If something terrible happened in the world, she could go visit her old friend for a while and feel better.

Do you have any old friends that you like to visit?

From NJ to Texas and a million tons of stuff to get done

So, I've moved! If you've been following me, then you know by now that I've been preparing for several months now to move my family from New Jersey to Texas.  Well, it's officially completed.

But, as most of you know if you've moved, things don't stop with the move.  They barely get started. And now I have to finish setting up our life in Texas. Maybe there will come a day when all the things I need to get done are actually done.

What do you think?

Lethal Beauty--Sara Brookes

Hey there! I’m Sara Brookes and I’m here to celebrate the release of my latest erotic romance, Lethal Beauty. It’s the latest installment in Decadent Publishing’s very special Elatia line. If you’re looking for fast-paced action with high stakes and one heck of a love story about two people who can’t escape one another, this is definitely the book for you.

Stop by my site (www.sarabrookes.com) before Friday, August 3^rd for a chance to win a $15.00 Starbucks gift certificate as I share some coffee love!

Decadent Publishing Buy Link: http://www.decadentpublishing.com/product_info.php?products_id=596&osCsid=4496laki9fus2ovfcbgk9cutq0

As a covert operative in Elatia’s elite military, Sway Waybourne is used to fending for herself. But a powerful uprising means she’s now responsible for guarding the leader of a neighboring planet. Within seconds of meeting Dason Cavaletti, sparks fly and Sway realizes she’s gotten more than she bargained for.

Dason is curious about the arousal taking over his mind, body, and soul. When he can no longer stand the overwhelming desire, he confronts Sway. But the disturbing news she delivers isn’t at all what he expected. Mating with the gorgeous woman could kill him….

WARNING: Sarcasm galore from a fiery heroine who can take care of herself thank-you-very-much. She won’t take anyone’s guff—even from the leader of the free universe no matter how handsome he is. A unique genetic quirk leads to inventive foreplay, one blazing hot hands-on session in the bathtub and a gender bending encounter that signals this ain’t your father’s Star Trek. No redshirts were harmed while writing this novel.

~*~

“This is…quite the situation.”
She blew out a breath as she slumped onto the far side of the mattress. “You can say that again.”
Sensing her frustration—which matched his own—he reached over and clamped his hand around her ankle. She didn’t fight as he dragged her across the bed and into his arms. “It’s not as if it’s the end of the world.”
“No. It’s just…I’m used to being able to handle any situation.”
“And you don’t know how to handle this.”
“Not really.”
“I’m sure we can come up with ideas. In fact, I’m thinking of one right now.”
“You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Way I understand, it’s the other way around.” Her laughter rang out in the room, shattering the tension. He pulled her closer, content and sated for the moment. “You’re a remarkable woman. Strong, determined, not to mention sexy as sin.”
She squirmed against him and he took it as a signal she wasn’t used to hearing such things said about her. Her reaction made him decide to shower her with attention while they were trapped together.
He was both amused and terrified by her reactions. Her extraordinary skill set was evident and he found her tenacity admirable. She possessed a vulnerability, though she clearly did her best to hide that aspect of her personality. By his guess, she thought it would show a weakness if she let others know about any flaw in her perfection. A good covert operative couldn’t have any visible flaws. Otherwise, they weren’t very good at their job.
By the looks of things so far, she was very, very good at her job.
And, for reasons he didn’t completely understand, he had begun to fall in love with her.

~*~

Sara Brookes has always been fascinated by the strange, the unusual, the twisted and the lost (tortured heroes are her personal favorite). She is an action movie junkie, addicted to coffee and has been known to stay up until the wee hours of the morning playing RPG video games. Despite all this, she is a romantic at heart and is always a sucker for an excellent love story. Born and bred in Virginia, Sara still lives there with her husband and daughter. The entire family is owned by two cats, Galahad and Loki, who graciously allow the family to cater to their every desire.